Is there such a thing as the "wrong" mom

jdbruewer's picture

"Switched at Birth Girls Want to Stay With Wrong Moms"
That headline bugged me.
The story is about two Russian girls, now 12, who were inadvertently switched at birth. After the problem was discovered both girls said they wanted to stay with the family they grew up with.
The article by Lama Hasan for Good Morning America, uses the terms "wrong" and "real" to describe the girls parents. As an adoptive parent, those phrases bug me.
As a writer, I understand the choice of words, they are the simplest ones to describe the situation. Before adopting, I would have used the same words.
What I have learned is that, especially in this day and age, there is no simple definition of a "right" "real" or "wrong" parent.
Certainly the girls involved see the only family they've ever known as real and right.
-- Neither child wants to leave their home. Irina keeps saying to me: 'Mum, please don't give me away!' I comfort her by saying: 'I would never do anything against your wishes. Nothing has changed. I'm still your mother.'' -- the story reads.
This week, as my daughter's birth parents arrive to celebrate her birthday, these words resonate.
My daughter knows who gave her life and who her parents are. We've been open about that from the start. We are her real and right parents, the only ones she's ever known. She knows her birth parents love her and wanted a good life for her. Is that so wrong.